i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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