At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
