My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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