i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
