I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
