I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
