Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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