we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
