If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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