Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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