This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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