i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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