you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
