I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
