I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
