The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
then he tried to convert me to islam
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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