why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize