VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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