stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
