how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
