'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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