I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
ok first of all what the fuck
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
