I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize