it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
