The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
