The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
