You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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