and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Four minutes until I can fart!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
