Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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