You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
