she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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