You're my little dorito
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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