grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
