omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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