hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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