so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
