smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
