did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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