I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
