We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize