.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
