I wish I could punch you in the face.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
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