Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
