Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
