just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
