How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
