Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
