My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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