So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
