Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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