I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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