I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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