If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
