he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
