Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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