were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize