On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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