highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
