Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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