i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
