Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
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