Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Sponge bath it is.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
