So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
