new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
