Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
